with Don Fraser
Fraser Farm Finance
Are you a grumpy and miserable old bastard?
I make no apology for my language as this seems to be the only way to describe many older and less than social men.
It seems to be a trend. Men get older and it almost seems they are entitled to get really grumpy, and I am sick of it. There is a lot of talk about entitlement these days, but it does not give old bastards the right to be unpleasant.
You can choose how you feel and react as well. There is any amount of psychology, data and evidence out there that tells you very clearly that when you get up in the morning you can make a choice on how you are going to be. There is just no excuse for being grumpy and miserable.
It seems that older men are using it as a form of control over their lovely wives. Their life is changing, they realise that they cannot live for ever, let alone on the farm forever and they get grumpy. Somehow, they realise being grumpy gives them more control, with appalling consequences for their partner of many years.
An older man with a number of relationships (little wonder) has a few million in the share market and just sold a building for another few million. He asks his mate to fix his fence and when presented with a ‘mates’ bill’ for $250, he goes nuts! He grumped at the realtor, the solicitor and everyone he could around the million-dollar transaction as well.
As people get older, they seem to hoard their money and become miserable, particularly men. If you have got some, or plenty, and your life is getting short, spend a bit, give it to your family and grandchildren. It is no use to anyone in your bank. No use at all.
Another case where a grumpy old man promised his lovely and long-suffering supporter that he would sell something in their farming portfolio to buy her a house in town. He has diminishing health but eventually says no he will not sell anything and will not go to town. Next thing she has a heart event, he goes grumpily to ground and guess what, it is a very sad situation.
Yes, I know it is hard for farmers to make changes and leave the farm but there is life after farming and you are going to be looking at the lid of the coffin for a long time, as the saying goes. Just a reminder, there is no tow bar on the hearse either, so you cannot take your farm with you.
It seems that many miserable old bastards just won’t agree to anything and use grumpiness to maintain control of their dwindling situation. This is kind of understandable but totally unacceptable, particularly when it is a 50:50 partnership.
So, fellow men, we need to make a conscious decision not to become a grumpy old man. You can choose to be happy or grumpy so there is really no excuse. It is a form of control and really mean on your partner.
Don’t be miserable either as it gives you a bad rap. Would you rather be remembered as a generous and cheerful man or a miserable and grumpy old bastard! Ruminations of an old fart …
Disclaimer – these are the opinions of Don Fraser (an old fart). Any decisions made should not be based on this article alone and appropriate professional assistance should be sought.
Don Fraser is the retired Principal of Fraser Farm Finance and was a consultant to the farming industry for many decades. You can still contact him on 021 777 675